Coming Out Like a Porn Star by Jiz Lee

Author:Jiz Lee
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Stone Bridge Press

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

Edward Lapple

Edward Lapple has worked as a producer/director/editor and every other production job over a forty-five-year career. He worked on over 200 adult films for a host of companies. In the straight world, he won six Emmys and numerous other awards while working for ABC, NBC, KCAL, KCOP, ET, PBS, Prime Ticket, Disney, ESPN, and a slew of advertising agencies. Infomercials he has worked on have grossed over $50m and he conducted eBay’s most viewed auction, selling the town of Bridgeville for $1.75m, with 1.3 million page hits. He is semiretired, living in Humboldt County, California, and writing for BareFootMusicNews.com.

I spent about seven years in the adult video business. I’m speaking about seven years as a professional, getting paid to do it. I have no tally of the time I spent during my high school years, sneaking into dark theaters on self-authorized field trips, attempting to gain an education into the taboo subject of sex. Sometimes you just have to take the initiative because you’re growing up in the early ’60s and your mommy won’t tell, your daddy won’t tell, your religious school sure as hell wouldn’t tell, not to mention that MTV and the Internet were a quarter of a century away in some place called the future. I needed to get educated so I wouldn’t look like an idiot the first time I tried to do it. I was able to check out my dad’s Playboys, but they were just still pictures; there were no how-to sections. So I admit that I got my Sex Education 101 from underage visits to X-rated theaters. When I was up late at night, I’d watch all-night movies on television, and there was this one cowboy car dealer that ruled the all-night airwaves. Wait, what does he have to do with this? Well, fifteen years later, I found myself directing his commercials and directing those kinds of movies. Who knew?

I spent those seven years behind the camera rather than in front of it. Sure, I had the standard male fantasies that when the urgent cry of “Stunt cock!” came from the set, I could rip away my Clark Kent disguise and swagger out onto the set like Godzilla in a rapacious mood, dragging my schlong along; however, unfortunately, that particular mental fable just had to remain in Fantasyland, the reason being that while my folks did endow me with the funds to obtain a college degree, my physical endowment was more wanting than wanton. I am certain that even Howard Stern would not be in awe of this member. I understand that the male segment of the human race has succeeded in deluding the female portion that three inches is actually a foot, but cameras do not lie (although they may fib a bit). When the standard comparative size device of a United States quarter is placed in the shot and Washington’s head exceeds the altitude of your own phallic monument, let’s just say that you are not going to be chopping down many cherry trees.

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